Monday, January 2, 2012

Wife Rule #56 Revisit

When planning a surprise, take into account personal hygene not just yours but everyones' who is involved.

I was planning on doing a large surprise for my wife. I had it all planned out and I had spent a ton of time getting it all together.

I had the plan scheduled to the minute, and any changes would destroy the whole day. It was perfect...or so I thought.

What I didn't consider was how long it would take everyone to get ready for the day. I got ready with plenty of time to spare, I was ever able to motivate my wife to get ready in time without ruining the surprise.

But there were other people who needed to get ready as well and they took their time. And so I saw my surprise crumble around me because it took some of the guests too long to get ready.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Wife Rule #131

If you are going to shave your beard, get a haircut at the same time.

I have had a beard for 4 years, but this past friday I shaved it off for a costume party. Since I knew my wife would be distraught over the loss of my beard, and does not like it when I get my hair cut, I figured that doing both at once would minimize the impact.

And I was right! My wife was so upset over my shaving that she did not notice my haircut until the next day. And because the loss of the beard was the bigger tragedy the haircut I got away with it.

For the most part...

Friday, September 2, 2011

Wife Rule #55 Revisit

Even if your wife does not like public displays of affection, sometimes a little PDA can go the long way.

My wife does not like PDA. She does not like it when she experiences it and she does not like it when she observes it.

Frequently when I have tried to express my affection for her in a public place I have gotten shot down.

But occasionally, I have hit the PDA jackpot. For whatever reason: the position of the moon, the proper alignment of the stars, a brief prayer that got answered, I have gotten acceptable PDA in.

If you stick the landing on PDA in a classy way sometimes it will evolve in the, "hey we should go home" look.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Wife Rule #130 - The Alvin Rule

Generally, I would discourage calling your significant other a shrew, particularly if she has asked you not to.

My friend Alvin and I went with our significant others to go see a local production of Taming of the Shrew. I made several jokes about my wife being akin to the titular character, which Alvin found amusing. In fairness my wife took my gentle prodding with good grace and gave as good as she got during the conversation.

Later, my wife got annoyed by the comparison and so I had to change course in order maintain the pleasantness of the evening.

So be care with this term. It is never flattering and if it is not done in the right context and with restraint it can lead to harm even if was not intentional.

Wife Rule #54 Revisit

It is the little things, like making the bed just how she likes it, that make a long term positive impact on your marriage

My wife is very particular about her covers. She just does not sleep well unless they are perfect. Most of the time, she will just deal with her covered being less than ideal when we are at home, but she is never truly happy with the covers situation unless we are traveling.

The reason being that she loves the tightly tucked in covers at hotels.

So one night I was making the bed and I decided to tuck the covers in and surprise her.

She was happy and so I was happy.

It is these little things make help make a marriage last.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wife Rule #53 Revisit

Sometimes doing everything wrong can lead to you doing something right, if you are doing all of the wrong things in jest and she knows that you are just kidding.

The day that I posted the blog was terrible. I could not as or do the right thing to save my life. Everything I said was poorly thought out or just unintentionally mean. And whenever I tried to do something to make it better each thing I tried just went badly as well.

I burnt dinner, I got the wrong drinks, I made the wrong food, I washed the wrong clothes, etc.

So I gave up.

And I started doing what I thought was the wrong things on purpose. Turns out that it was the best decision that I made all day. Partly because my wife knew I was having a rough day and partly because I started having fun with this bad day, my wife and I just cracked ourselves up all night.

What started out awful turned out wonderful. It is amazing what a little creativity and a good attitude can do.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Wife Rule #52 Revisit

Calling your wife a "slug" is never a good idea. If she has a preferable family term like "queen of the dinks" use that instead.

Getting my wife out of bed in the morning is like trying to pry apart something that has been glued with superglue.

So one morning when we were running late I said in exasperation: "Get out of bed, you are such a slug."

The covers flew off and she got out of bed and glared at me.

She went into the bathroom and started getting ready with out saying anything and blowing by my attempt to kiss her.

She was very quiet until we got into the car. Then she looked over at me and said "I am not a slug, I am the queen of the dinks".

Then I understood, she knew that she needed to get up and my pestering had just put her in a bad mood. Calling her a slug has just been the last straw.

She would have gotten up minimally grumpy had I called her queen of the dinks because that was what her parents called her.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Wife Rule #51 Revisit

You're right is possibly to most romantic thing you can say to your wife.

OK guys this is a tough one to swallow.

As a rule, guys are very proud, so when our wives are right about something it is our instinct to mumble something and walk away without ever truly acknowledging that our wives were right.

The funny thing is that we are trying to be proud at the expense of the one person in our lives that is not going to attack us if we are open and vulnerable with them.

Sure my wife may gloat, and ask me to repeat that she was right a few times. But if you do it with good humor, you just might get a reward that can relegate the discomfort of your damaged ego to an afterthought.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Wife Rule #50 Revisit

When she wants to post a status on your facebook the answer is yes.

This is one of those exploring new boundaries things.

My wife wanted to post on my Facebook for the first time, so I questioned her on what it would be about.

Which was the wrong thing to do. I should have trusted her to make a post for me.

Her post was going to be "I love my wife".

It turned into "I'm an idiot"

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Wife Rule #49 Revisit

If you are going to use a picture to advertise your blog that is about your relationship with your wife, ask what picture she wants used.

My wife and I have different ideas of what pictures make her look best.

When I selected a picture to put on Facebook to advertise my blog I did not consult her.

She saw the picture when she was on a break at work and gave a call demanding that I take the current picture down and wait until I consulted her before I put one back up.

Fortunately, no one really read my blog at that point so I was able to smooth things over, but if you are going to use your wife as part of an advertising campaign ask her which one she wants you to use.
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