Teamwork: it worked in kindergarten, it works in marriage too.
Tonight my wife and I hosted our first big event since we got married. We had twelve people come over for dinner and small group. The night was a success and we really enjoyed the experience.
It was so enjoyable because we worked together. We took turns cleaning parts of the house during the week. Then today she worked while I finished everything at the house. On her way home she bought pizza and I cooked them when she got home. She was the charming hostess and I monitored the food and drink situation.
Teamwork, what a wonderful thing to have in a marriage.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wife Rule #22 Revisit
Never ask your wife to try to guess what present you are getting her, she will figure it out and it will be disappointing for both of you.
I think I give pretty good gifts, but my wife likes to try to figure out what I am getting her ahead of time. Normally she is pretty good at it, but leading up to her birthday I really had her stumped. This made me pretty smug so I kept teasing her about not knowing what I was getting her.
Finally she got frustrated and I was so confident that I gave her a hint. This lead to her guessing it and ruining the surprise.
She was disappointed because she guessed it, I was disappointed because I lost the opportunity to surprise her with a cool gift, but I guess it does not really matter because I did not end up getting her that gift anyway.
I think I give pretty good gifts, but my wife likes to try to figure out what I am getting her ahead of time. Normally she is pretty good at it, but leading up to her birthday I really had her stumped. This made me pretty smug so I kept teasing her about not knowing what I was getting her.
Finally she got frustrated and I was so confident that I gave her a hint. This lead to her guessing it and ruining the surprise.
She was disappointed because she guessed it, I was disappointed because I lost the opportunity to surprise her with a cool gift, but I guess it does not really matter because I did not end up getting her that gift anyway.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wife Rule #121
Decorating should be a team effort.
Tonight we are hosting a small group and all of our friends are coming over to our apartment for the first time since we have been married. This has made my wife nervous because she says out apartment looks like a college dorm at least or a bachelor pad at best.
This meant that last night we were at the store getting new wall hanging. It took a while, but we found some that we both like and then came home to redecorate.
I have to admit I like the change in the living room. Next up is the bedroom...you know...next time we have people over...maybe
Tonight we are hosting a small group and all of our friends are coming over to our apartment for the first time since we have been married. This has made my wife nervous because she says out apartment looks like a college dorm at least or a bachelor pad at best.
This meant that last night we were at the store getting new wall hanging. It took a while, but we found some that we both like and then came home to redecorate.
I have to admit I like the change in the living room. Next up is the bedroom...you know...next time we have people over...maybe
Wife Rule #21 Revisit
If she asks what your favorite (fill in the blank) is, then you are supposed to have a clear favorite.
Ok here is the dirt on this rule. While this rule holds true for most things, this particular rule is referencing lingerie. Leading up to and just after our wedding, my wife spend a good amount of money buying sexy lingerie. Now she asks which one is my favorite. I like them all and I really don't have a favorite, but a line like, "I love them all why don't you pick the one that you think is sexiest and wear that," does not fly.
Ok here is the dirt on this rule. While this rule holds true for most things, this particular rule is referencing lingerie. Leading up to and just after our wedding, my wife spend a good amount of money buying sexy lingerie. Now she asks which one is my favorite. I like them all and I really don't have a favorite, but a line like, "I love them all why don't you pick the one that you think is sexiest and wear that," does not fly.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wife Rule #120
Let your wife win once in a while.
My wife and I love board games. Right now our favorites are Ticket to Ride, Quarkle, and Stratego. However I am really good at strategy games and I tend to win. This often makes m wife not want to play with me because she hates losing.
I am extremely competitive, and I have a hard time turning that off even when I am playing against my wife. If I don't learn to stop she will not play with me anymore
My wife and I love board games. Right now our favorites are Ticket to Ride, Quarkle, and Stratego. However I am really good at strategy games and I tend to win. This often makes m wife not want to play with me because she hates losing.
I am extremely competitive, and I have a hard time turning that off even when I am playing against my wife. If I don't learn to stop she will not play with me anymore
Wife Rule #20 Revisit
When you go out to celebrate a major milestone or accomplishment in your wife's life, the evening should probably not include sporting events, video games, or any restaraunt that has a drive through or a "to go" option.
This one is pretty self explainitory, but in our particular case the restaraunt in question is Friday's. I love Friday's and I like to go there to celebrate major milestones. My wife however does not like Friday's and when she got her all A grades back from her first semester of masters work she wanted to celebrate.
I suggested Friday's, she suggested that I stuff my suggestion. We went to Olive Garden and everyone was happy.
This one is pretty self explainitory, but in our particular case the restaraunt in question is Friday's. I love Friday's and I like to go there to celebrate major milestones. My wife however does not like Friday's and when she got her all A grades back from her first semester of masters work she wanted to celebrate.
I suggested Friday's, she suggested that I stuff my suggestion. We went to Olive Garden and everyone was happy.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wife Rule #119
Don't expect your wife to be as passionate about sports as you are.
My wife pointed out to me the other day that there is some type of sporting event on our TV all the time. She said, "you wake up and watch Sportscenter and First Take, then you play Xbox 360 Madden or Baseball, then you watch sporting events, and then you watch Sportcenter at the end of the night. Can we have less sports on TV?"
I immediately got defensive, but later I realized that she was right. Now my wife likes sports and she will even engage in watching the Cubs and Bears and playing foootball on the xbox now and then, but she has her limits. I have to remember to not to get upset because it is not fair to expect her to be as passionate as I am about sports.
My wife pointed out to me the other day that there is some type of sporting event on our TV all the time. She said, "you wake up and watch Sportscenter and First Take, then you play Xbox 360 Madden or Baseball, then you watch sporting events, and then you watch Sportcenter at the end of the night. Can we have less sports on TV?"
I immediately got defensive, but later I realized that she was right. Now my wife likes sports and she will even engage in watching the Cubs and Bears and playing foootball on the xbox now and then, but she has her limits. I have to remember to not to get upset because it is not fair to expect her to be as passionate as I am about sports.
Wife Rule #19 Revisit
"Don't expect any flowers from me...because if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry." Oh and here are some flowers too dear. (Quote from Bob and Tom's The Man Song)
I call this the "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" rule. Just because you are married does not mean all of the fun little gifts that you used to get her when you were dating should stop. But at the same time now that you are married you will probably be expected to give larger and nicer gifts in addition to the small fun gifts that you had given earlier.
The nice thing is that the reverse is also true so you may get from your wife both a steak dinner and a new dvd player instead of just the steak dinner.
I call this the "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" rule. Just because you are married does not mean all of the fun little gifts that you used to get her when you were dating should stop. But at the same time now that you are married you will probably be expected to give larger and nicer gifts in addition to the small fun gifts that you had given earlier.
The nice thing is that the reverse is also true so you may get from your wife both a steak dinner and a new dvd player instead of just the steak dinner.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wife Rule #118
Don't suggest adding 5-6 hours on top of an already large trip.
My wife and I have recently returned from a trip from Texas. Before we left I recommended a trip to Kansas City to drop off our dog with my wife's parents. It made our trip easier, but it also added a lot of extra travel to our trip.
Besides the longer time in the car, and the fact that we did not make it to Texas until 3:30 in the morning, the fact that we were exhausted by the time we arrived and had very little time to sleep on our trip, lead to a tough trip.
My wife and I have recently returned from a trip from Texas. Before we left I recommended a trip to Kansas City to drop off our dog with my wife's parents. It made our trip easier, but it also added a lot of extra travel to our trip.
Besides the longer time in the car, and the fact that we did not make it to Texas until 3:30 in the morning, the fact that we were exhausted by the time we arrived and had very little time to sleep on our trip, lead to a tough trip.
Wife Rule #18 Revisit
Apparently in the original language "husband" means human alarm clock and the title comes with all the responsibilities of a regular alarm clock. The most important thing to know about being a human alarm clock is that your snooze timer should never be less than 5 minutes and not longer than 30.
This rule get enforced most mornings and took several mornings to perfect. Find what works for your wife and enjoy your new career.
This rule get enforced most mornings and took several mornings to perfect. Find what works for your wife and enjoy your new career.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wife Rule #117
Fantasy football is not the most important thing in the world.
I know it sounds like blasphemy but it is true. Your wife's feelings, goals, and needs are much more important. Be smart about fantasy football, schedule your work on your team around what your wife wants to do. And if there is something unavoidable like the draft that is on a fixed time, make sure that you do lots of great things for your wife.
I did. That is why when the Internet crapped out at our hotel, first she drove me around the city looking for free wifi, and then let me sit in the car in front of another hotel for an hour and a half so I could use their Internet to do my draft
I know it sounds like blasphemy but it is true. Your wife's feelings, goals, and needs are much more important. Be smart about fantasy football, schedule your work on your team around what your wife wants to do. And if there is something unavoidable like the draft that is on a fixed time, make sure that you do lots of great things for your wife.
I did. That is why when the Internet crapped out at our hotel, first she drove me around the city looking for free wifi, and then let me sit in the car in front of another hotel for an hour and a half so I could use their Internet to do my draft
Wife Rule #17 Revisit
If your wife brings home some baggage from work always side with her even if you do not completely agree.
In marriage council our minister told us that marriage is like a fight. It is a fight with the man and has wife as tagteam partners fighting a handicapped match against the rest of the word. Your wife has to feel and believe that you are on her side regardless of how right or wrong she may be. You have to support each other and then if needed discuss it later, after the emotions have cooled.
In marriage council our minister told us that marriage is like a fight. It is a fight with the man and has wife as tagteam partners fighting a handicapped match against the rest of the word. Your wife has to feel and believe that you are on her side regardless of how right or wrong she may be. You have to support each other and then if needed discuss it later, after the emotions have cooled.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Wife Rule #116
If your wife wants you to travel with her, go regardless of the personal cost to you.
My wife had to go to a 4 day class in Texas, and even though I had a fantasy football draft, work, school, and plans to hang out with friends, I cancelled them (or rearranged them) to be able to go on the trip with my wife.
This paid huge dividends into the good husband box. Not only did I get to call most of the shots for the whole trip, I got to spend an amazing stress free weekend with my wife, and I got other benefits as well.
Yes it was a sacrifice, but in the end the greatest sacrifices reap the greatest rewards
My wife had to go to a 4 day class in Texas, and even though I had a fantasy football draft, work, school, and plans to hang out with friends, I cancelled them (or rearranged them) to be able to go on the trip with my wife.
This paid huge dividends into the good husband box. Not only did I get to call most of the shots for the whole trip, I got to spend an amazing stress free weekend with my wife, and I got other benefits as well.
Yes it was a sacrifice, but in the end the greatest sacrifices reap the greatest rewards
Wife Rule #16 Revisit
Unless the husband is deathly ill, mortally wounded, or dead it is never the wife's responsiblity to get up and take the dog out in the middle of the night. If you try to ask your wife to get up and take the dog out during the middle of the night you may end up either deathly ill, mortally wounded, or dead.
Our dog has learned an annoying habit. She like to wake us up to go to the bathroom at least once each night. This is good because she is not messing in the house. This is bad because I never get a full night sleep.
One night I asked my wife to take her out. That was a mistake. Another night when I was under the weather I asked my wife to take her out. That was less of a mistake. Then one night when I was legitimately sick I was going to take the dog out and my wife told me to stay asleep and that she would take our dog out.
Hence, wife rule #16
Our dog has learned an annoying habit. She like to wake us up to go to the bathroom at least once each night. This is good because she is not messing in the house. This is bad because I never get a full night sleep.
One night I asked my wife to take her out. That was a mistake. Another night when I was under the weather I asked my wife to take her out. That was less of a mistake. Then one night when I was legitimately sick I was going to take the dog out and my wife told me to stay asleep and that she would take our dog out.
Hence, wife rule #16
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wife Rule #115
If you wife feels sick, do everything you can for her.
My wife was sick the other night. i spent a lot of time running around and getting everything that she required. Then I passed on my planned activities to care for her.
You should always do this. Always!
My wife was sick the other night. i spent a lot of time running around and getting everything that she required. Then I passed on my planned activities to care for her.
You should always do this. Always!
Wife Rule #15 Revisit
If your wife has a favorite restaurant that you only like in moderation, the wise husband would only eat at that food establishment with his wife. Even if a coworker is generously offering to treat say no, because if you accept and go to the restaurant without you wife she will be A) jealous that you went without her and B) now hungry for that restaurant which leaves the husband in the situation that was covered in Wife Rule #14.
I went to m wife's favorite restaurant with a coworker. Of course when I went home my wife wanted to go to her favorite restaurant and I said I did not want to. She got upset and asked me how I would feel if she went out to my favorite restaurant without me.
My reply of ok as long as your brought me something back did not help
I went to m wife's favorite restaurant with a coworker. Of course when I went home my wife wanted to go to her favorite restaurant and I said I did not want to. She got upset and asked me how I would feel if she went out to my favorite restaurant without me.
My reply of ok as long as your brought me something back did not help
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Wife Rule #114
Bribery sometimes works.
I like to bribe my wife with books, bookselves, and mexican food. Find out what will work for your wife and use it sparingly.
I like to bribe my wife with books, bookselves, and mexican food. Find out what will work for your wife and use it sparingly.
Wife Rule #14 Revisit
When asked, "where do you want to go for dinner?" the wrong answers are "I already ate" or "I'm not hungry but I will come with you to anywhere you want to go,"
My wife and I argue over food frequently. But sometimes one of us will be in the mood to go eat whatever the other wants. One night when my wife was in this kind of mood I had decided to eat early. She was upset by this and even though I volunteered to come with her to dinner she refused. Dinner is a special time that renews a relationship and part of that is actually eating together.
My wife and I argue over food frequently. But sometimes one of us will be in the mood to go eat whatever the other wants. One night when my wife was in this kind of mood I had decided to eat early. She was upset by this and even though I volunteered to come with her to dinner she refused. Dinner is a special time that renews a relationship and part of that is actually eating together.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Wife Rule #113
If your wife's alarm does not go off, it is your job to wake her up.
This sounds similar to two other wife rules, but really the back ground is that there is no excuse for not waking your wife up if you are already of bed. Losing track of the time while playing video games will not save you and will make things worse.
This sounds similar to two other wife rules, but really the back ground is that there is no excuse for not waking your wife up if you are already of bed. Losing track of the time while playing video games will not save you and will make things worse.
Wife Rule #13 Revisit
Do not start a major project at night unless it is absolutely necessary, it will get interrupted.
I love projects, but I want to finish them if I start them. The other night i started a major reorganization project of our important papers. This would have been lauded by my wife if I had not started the project at 9 PM. Eventually my wife wanted me to come to bed, but I did not want to give up on my project yet. Long story short: I went to bed and I learned to start my projects earlier.
I love projects, but I want to finish them if I start them. The other night i started a major reorganization project of our important papers. This would have been lauded by my wife if I had not started the project at 9 PM. Eventually my wife wanted me to come to bed, but I did not want to give up on my project yet. Long story short: I went to bed and I learned to start my projects earlier.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wife Rule #112
Make sure someone sets that alarm.
Yesterday my wife woke up 10 minutes before she had to go to work. We had both thought about setting the alarm the night before and both of us assumed the other had done it.
The worst part was that I had woken up about 2 hours earlier and lost track of time and did not wake her up either. Which if you have read Wife Rule #18 you know it is the husband's job to wake up his wife.
Yesterday my wife woke up 10 minutes before she had to go to work. We had both thought about setting the alarm the night before and both of us assumed the other had done it.
The worst part was that I had woken up about 2 hours earlier and lost track of time and did not wake her up either. Which if you have read Wife Rule #18 you know it is the husband's job to wake up his wife.
Wife Rule #12 Revisit
If you have the choice between cleaning the house and bringing your wife lunch at work the correct action is to do both.
I am only working part time right now, so I have time on my hands during the day to clean the house and look for work.
One day my wife called and said that she forgot her lunch at home and asked if I could bring it to her. On this particular day I had a big cleaning project in progress so I told her I was not sure that I could bring it. She said that it was ok she would just get something from the cafe at work but she was just looking forward to her lunch that she forgot.
Once she said that I got in the car and took her lunch over to her. She wass so happy. Then I came home and finished the cleaning. Needless to say when my wife got home she was tickled pink.
I am only working part time right now, so I have time on my hands during the day to clean the house and look for work.
One day my wife called and said that she forgot her lunch at home and asked if I could bring it to her. On this particular day I had a big cleaning project in progress so I told her I was not sure that I could bring it. She said that it was ok she would just get something from the cafe at work but she was just looking forward to her lunch that she forgot.
Once she said that I got in the car and took her lunch over to her. She wass so happy. Then I came home and finished the cleaning. Needless to say when my wife got home she was tickled pink.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wife Rule #111
Acknowledge your wife's accomplishments.
My wife has been nominated for awards in three categories for Book Blogger Appreciation Week. She has been nominated in the categories of Best YA Book Blog, Best Reviewer, and Best Writer. Please go to her site and congratulate her and keep posted here to find out when you can vote for her.
My wife has been nominated for awards in three categories for Book Blogger Appreciation Week. She has been nominated in the categories of Best YA Book Blog, Best Reviewer, and Best Writer. Please go to her site and congratulate her and keep posted here to find out when you can vote for her.
Wife Rule #11 Revisit
Do not blog when you could be enjoying marital bliss.
If you need this explained you should go have "that talk" with your parents.
If you need this explained you should go have "that talk" with your parents.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wife Rule #10 Revisit
If your wife makes you late for church don't get annoyed with her, just enjoy the attention that you will get when you walk in after the service has started. If you make you wife late for church...God help you.
I hate to be late. Particularly when going to church I hate to be late. The first week back at church after our wedding, I had planned to be early, but my wife would not get out of bed so we wound up getting to Sunday school about 10 minutes late and when we walked in we had to endure the subtle jokes about being newlyweds and being late.
My wife loved it. She loved the center of attention and she loved being recognize for being a beautiful bride. That joy turned into rewards for me later.
So enjoy the extra attention when your wife makes you late for church. Just keep in mind if she WANTS to be there on time and you make HER late, you will be "disciplined". ;-)
I hate to be late. Particularly when going to church I hate to be late. The first week back at church after our wedding, I had planned to be early, but my wife would not get out of bed so we wound up getting to Sunday school about 10 minutes late and when we walked in we had to endure the subtle jokes about being newlyweds and being late.
My wife loved it. She loved the center of attention and she loved being recognize for being a beautiful bride. That joy turned into rewards for me later.
So enjoy the extra attention when your wife makes you late for church. Just keep in mind if she WANTS to be there on time and you make HER late, you will be "disciplined". ;-)
Wife Rule #110
When shopping for furniture, if you and your wife cannot agree on style at first don't get frustrated.
Furniture decisions are important. Unless you have lots of disposable income the furniture you but will have to last you 5-10 years. This is why you need to take your time and keep cool when shopping for furnature.
When my wife and I went shopping I got frustrated with her because she only really liked the really expensive uncomfortable couches and loveseats. I was for interested in finding couches that were affordable and comfortable. So going to store after store we would argue about what to buy.
But finally we found the couches that we wanted and got them at a good price. But it could have been a much mroe fun experience had I not gotten so frustrated.
Furniture decisions are important. Unless you have lots of disposable income the furniture you but will have to last you 5-10 years. This is why you need to take your time and keep cool when shopping for furnature.
When my wife and I went shopping I got frustrated with her because she only really liked the really expensive uncomfortable couches and loveseats. I was for interested in finding couches that were affordable and comfortable. So going to store after store we would argue about what to buy.
But finally we found the couches that we wanted and got them at a good price. But it could have been a much mroe fun experience had I not gotten so frustrated.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wife Rule #9 Revisit
When your wife wants to get books that she believes will strengthen the marriage, be supportive. Trust me, it will work out for your advantage if you are engaged in this process.
My wife wanted to get a bunch of couple devotionals after we got married. I was resistant to this because a lot of them were written for people who were adjusting to getting to have sex. My wife and I did not feel like we needed those types of devotionals so it knocked out a lot of the newly wed section.
I was resistant to the idea the whole time because we had devotionals at home already, and because I resented looking in the newly wed section and being among the books that spend so much time communicating that its ok to have sex. (Something that does not bother me.)
After a lot of search we found a devotional that we thought we could stomach. And finding it gave my wife some peace and comfort about how we were starting our marriage. Her comfort led to better things for me.
My wife wanted to get a bunch of couple devotionals after we got married. I was resistant to this because a lot of them were written for people who were adjusting to getting to have sex. My wife and I did not feel like we needed those types of devotionals so it knocked out a lot of the newly wed section.
I was resistant to the idea the whole time because we had devotionals at home already, and because I resented looking in the newly wed section and being among the books that spend so much time communicating that its ok to have sex. (Something that does not bother me.)
After a lot of search we found a devotional that we thought we could stomach. And finding it gave my wife some peace and comfort about how we were starting our marriage. Her comfort led to better things for me.
Wife Rule #109
When going shopping for furniture, now what you want but be flexible on color choices.
My wife and I have had a living room color scheme picked out since we started registering for wedding gifts. However, when we went furniture shopping the other day we could not find a couch in the color that we wanted. That was not a deal breaker because we were both flexible. After trips to seven stores we found a great deal on a couch and a loveseat that we now love.
My wife and I have had a living room color scheme picked out since we started registering for wedding gifts. However, when we went furniture shopping the other day we could not find a couch in the color that we wanted. That was not a deal breaker because we were both flexible. After trips to seven stores we found a great deal on a couch and a loveseat that we now love.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wife Rule #8 Revisit
It is always a good idea to take your wife to see movies that she is excited about...it is a bad idea to be late for the movie, belittle the movie (and have her hear you or have her hear that you were belittling said movie), or try to drop your car off for repairs before said movie.
My wife is a trekker. She loves Star Trek and the movie that came out this summer was perhaps the most exciting event of the summer for her. Of course we had to go to the first show on the opening night of Star Trek and she wanted to arrive early to watch the other trekkers as well as the previews.
There were two problems, first we both had to work until right before the movie started, and second, we needed to bring my car in for repairs.
After we got off work we rushed to to car place to drop my car off, but I had forgotten to empty everything out of my car ahead of time. So we were standing in the Midas parking lot while I am frantically emptying me car while my wife is yelling at me and fretting that we will be late.
Finally, I shoved my book notes (see wife rule #85) into her backseat, and we took off for the movie. We arrived 10 minutes before the first preview and my wife got everything she wanted. The problem remained not because she did miss them but that she MIGHT have missed those things.
Oh and if your wife is excited about a movie, don't make fun of it. I made fun of it with her dad and she was rather put out.
My wife is a trekker. She loves Star Trek and the movie that came out this summer was perhaps the most exciting event of the summer for her. Of course we had to go to the first show on the opening night of Star Trek and she wanted to arrive early to watch the other trekkers as well as the previews.
There were two problems, first we both had to work until right before the movie started, and second, we needed to bring my car in for repairs.
After we got off work we rushed to to car place to drop my car off, but I had forgotten to empty everything out of my car ahead of time. So we were standing in the Midas parking lot while I am frantically emptying me car while my wife is yelling at me and fretting that we will be late.
Finally, I shoved my book notes (see wife rule #85) into her backseat, and we took off for the movie. We arrived 10 minutes before the first preview and my wife got everything she wanted. The problem remained not because she did miss them but that she MIGHT have missed those things.
Oh and if your wife is excited about a movie, don't make fun of it. I made fun of it with her dad and she was rather put out.
Wife Rule #108
If you have the money and your wife wants to buy a Tivo, GO GO GO!
I have been drooling over a Tivo for a long time. Yesterday my wife looked over at me and said, I think we should go get a Tivo. I immediately jumped up took the dog out and rushed my wife to Best Buy where we gladly handed over the money for our shiny new DVR.
You have to go fast because you do not want your wife to over think it and change her mind.
I acted quickly, and when we got home (after the 3 hours it took to install our new system) we enjoyed picture perfect digital recordings of some of our favorite shows.
I have been drooling over a Tivo for a long time. Yesterday my wife looked over at me and said, I think we should go get a Tivo. I immediately jumped up took the dog out and rushed my wife to Best Buy where we gladly handed over the money for our shiny new DVR.
You have to go fast because you do not want your wife to over think it and change her mind.
I acted quickly, and when we got home (after the 3 hours it took to install our new system) we enjoyed picture perfect digital recordings of some of our favorite shows.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Wife Rule #7 Revisit
If your wife asks you to tape the season finale of her favorite show, don't try to tape it on the same VCR that messed the tape up the night before...even if you thought you fixed it. Make sure you set a backup.
I am pretty good around the house at fixing electronic things. And I like to think that we have a respectable amount of electronics even though we still use VHS to tape TV shows. Well we had been watching a show on Wednesday nights and on one particular Wednesday we both had to work so I taped it. When we got off, we found that the VCR had reverted to daylight savings time while we were at work and so we had taped the news instead of our show and we noticed that the tape that we were using was starting to deteriorate.
So I fixed the VCR to the proper time and I fast forwarded the tape past the damaged section. Now confident that we would be able to tape my wife's favorite show then next night I set the timer and went to bed.
The next day seemed to go off without a hitch until we got home and the same thing had happened. I had missed taping the season finale! When my wife got home I confessed and she was mad that I did not set a backup. I admitted that I should have, and we did end up catching the season finale on hulu.com so that made up for my blunder.
I am pretty good around the house at fixing electronic things. And I like to think that we have a respectable amount of electronics even though we still use VHS to tape TV shows. Well we had been watching a show on Wednesday nights and on one particular Wednesday we both had to work so I taped it. When we got off, we found that the VCR had reverted to daylight savings time while we were at work and so we had taped the news instead of our show and we noticed that the tape that we were using was starting to deteriorate.
So I fixed the VCR to the proper time and I fast forwarded the tape past the damaged section. Now confident that we would be able to tape my wife's favorite show then next night I set the timer and went to bed.
The next day seemed to go off without a hitch until we got home and the same thing had happened. I had missed taping the season finale! When my wife got home I confessed and she was mad that I did not set a backup. I admitted that I should have, and we did end up catching the season finale on hulu.com so that made up for my blunder.
Wife Rule #107
If you say you are going to start working out, do it.
About a month ago I told my wife that I was going to start waking up early and go for a job everyday at 6 AM. And everyday for the last month I have been sleeping to at least seven and only going for walks with the dog a couple times a week.
If you tell your wife you are going to do something you need to do it. If you tell her you are going to work out you need to make sure you do it so that she will not be doubly disappointed when you turn out to be a couch potato rather than someone who is working on turning themselves into a hot tamale.
So get up and go work out...well, maybe tomorrow.
About a month ago I told my wife that I was going to start waking up early and go for a job everyday at 6 AM. And everyday for the last month I have been sleeping to at least seven and only going for walks with the dog a couple times a week.
If you tell your wife you are going to do something you need to do it. If you tell her you are going to work out you need to make sure you do it so that she will not be doubly disappointed when you turn out to be a couch potato rather than someone who is working on turning themselves into a hot tamale.
So get up and go work out...well, maybe tomorrow.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wife Rule #6 Revisit
While pet names are cute and fun they do not replace the use of your wife's real given name.
The other night my wife commented that I do not use her name enough. I call her babe, sweetie, honey, and beautiful a lot, but I rarely call her by her given name. In fact she played a bunch of voicemails that I had left her and every single one started with a pet name. (except for the one that started with a very elegant, "hey")
Needless so say I have started using her given name more.
Another drawback to only using pet names is that your wife will have a harder time adjusting to her new last name. My wife's sage advice to me was this, "you need to tell me: I love you, and use my new full name at least once a day so that I can get used to it."
The other night my wife commented that I do not use her name enough. I call her babe, sweetie, honey, and beautiful a lot, but I rarely call her by her given name. In fact she played a bunch of voicemails that I had left her and every single one started with a pet name. (except for the one that started with a very elegant, "hey")
Needless so say I have started using her given name more.
Another drawback to only using pet names is that your wife will have a harder time adjusting to her new last name. My wife's sage advice to me was this, "you need to tell me: I love you, and use my new full name at least once a day so that I can get used to it."
Wife Rule #106
If your wife gets you a video game, play it...a lot.
This is a classic catch 22, your wife gets you a video game but you get tired of playing it or you have other games that you are more interested in at the moment. If you play the game you will resent the lost hours that could have been spent on the games that you are currently more interested in. If you do not play the game, your wife will be upset that you do not like her gift and will distance herself from your hobby. So what do you do.
You play the game your wife got you but only when she is arround. Yes it may be a little onerous at times to have to stop blasting your way through Gears of War II just because you wife is getting off of work in 10 minutes, but it will be worth your while. Once you beat the game you are free and clear, or you can accidently leave it at your parents house when you go to visit.
This is a classic catch 22, your wife gets you a video game but you get tired of playing it or you have other games that you are more interested in at the moment. If you play the game you will resent the lost hours that could have been spent on the games that you are currently more interested in. If you do not play the game, your wife will be upset that you do not like her gift and will distance herself from your hobby. So what do you do.
You play the game your wife got you but only when she is arround. Yes it may be a little onerous at times to have to stop blasting your way through Gears of War II just because you wife is getting off of work in 10 minutes, but it will be worth your while. Once you beat the game you are free and clear, or you can accidently leave it at your parents house when you go to visit.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wife Rule #5 Revisit
Being supportive to you wife's needs and interacting with her in a humble non-defensive way can defuse an argument and restore the balance of a relationship.
Some days around the office are rough and your wife may bring her work home with her. On these days your mistakes might escalate what is already a bad situation. They key is in how you respond. If you respond in a humble way and support your wife, even if you disagree, you can turn a potentially bad situation into a win.
And if you feel the need to express your dissenting opinion, you can do so later. You know, like on your death bed.
Some days around the office are rough and your wife may bring her work home with her. On these days your mistakes might escalate what is already a bad situation. They key is in how you respond. If you respond in a humble way and support your wife, even if you disagree, you can turn a potentially bad situation into a win.
And if you feel the need to express your dissenting opinion, you can do so later. You know, like on your death bed.
Wife Rule #105
Remember what gifts your wife has gotten you.
This is a simple rule with two major applications. First, remember the gifts your wife has given you over the course of your relationship. This sounds simple but it really is not once all of the Christmas, anniversary, and birthday gifts start to add up over the years. Still quantity is not an excuse for forgetfulness. When your wife asks you what your favorite gift that she got you is, an answer like "I love them all" will not cut it.
The second application is to remember what gifts your wife did NOT get you. It is never good to attribute to your wife a gift that she did not get you. This is particularly important if the gift came from an ex girlfriend.
This is a simple rule with two major applications. First, remember the gifts your wife has given you over the course of your relationship. This sounds simple but it really is not once all of the Christmas, anniversary, and birthday gifts start to add up over the years. Still quantity is not an excuse for forgetfulness. When your wife asks you what your favorite gift that she got you is, an answer like "I love them all" will not cut it.
The second application is to remember what gifts your wife did NOT get you. It is never good to attribute to your wife a gift that she did not get you. This is particularly important if the gift came from an ex girlfriend.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wife Rule #4 Revisit
If your wife says that she wants to reach a certain milestone in a video game before you, it is not an invitation to friendly competition, it is an ultimatum that you must not reach that point before her.
This was the first major mistake I made in our marriage. We got a Wii with Wii Fit as a wedding gift from our coworkers and my wife loved it. She was really good, particularly at the heading soccer balls game. She had become so good that she had knocked my scores off of the top ten scoreboard in the game. She had even come within one or two balls of a perfect score.
During a break from playing she said that she wanted to be the first one to get a perfect score on the game. I told her that I would beat her to it and she said that I had better not.
Now, I did not really think I would get a perfect score before her, but I took her statement as a challenge and started to focus on getting better. I had gotten a couple scores back in the top ten, but still had not come close to getting perfect. Then I did, on my last try before her turn. I was laughing, she was steaming mad.
She was not trying to get me to compete with her, she was telling me that she wanted to get the perfect score first. Lesson learned.
This was the first major mistake I made in our marriage. We got a Wii with Wii Fit as a wedding gift from our coworkers and my wife loved it. She was really good, particularly at the heading soccer balls game. She had become so good that she had knocked my scores off of the top ten scoreboard in the game. She had even come within one or two balls of a perfect score.
During a break from playing she said that she wanted to be the first one to get a perfect score on the game. I told her that I would beat her to it and she said that I had better not.
Now, I did not really think I would get a perfect score before her, but I took her statement as a challenge and started to focus on getting better. I had gotten a couple scores back in the top ten, but still had not come close to getting perfect. Then I did, on my last try before her turn. I was laughing, she was steaming mad.
She was not trying to get me to compete with her, she was telling me that she wanted to get the perfect score first. Lesson learned.
Wife Rule #104
Don't give you wife false hope about getting a house.
My wife and I have been considering buying or renting a house for some time. We have found several that we have loved. However, it is probably not the best time for us to buy right now so all of our preparation and excitement went for nothing. This disappointed my wife and I was urged not to get her all excited about a house again unless there was a good chance we could get it.
Then a possible rental house came around. It was owned by a friend of a friend, just at the top end of our price range, and it was beautiful. I told my wife about it and she got excited and we took pictures and were about to set up a time to meet with the owner, when we found out a couple things about the house that were deal breakers. My wife and I were both crushed and of course I got the brunt of my wife's displeasure since she had asked me not to get her excited about a house until it was a sure thing.
My wife and I have been considering buying or renting a house for some time. We have found several that we have loved. However, it is probably not the best time for us to buy right now so all of our preparation and excitement went for nothing. This disappointed my wife and I was urged not to get her all excited about a house again unless there was a good chance we could get it.
Then a possible rental house came around. It was owned by a friend of a friend, just at the top end of our price range, and it was beautiful. I told my wife about it and she got excited and we took pictures and were about to set up a time to meet with the owner, when we found out a couple things about the house that were deal breakers. My wife and I were both crushed and of course I got the brunt of my wife's displeasure since she had asked me not to get her excited about a house until it was a sure thing.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Wife Rule #3 Revisit
Video game purchases (systems, games, controllers, magazines, subscriptions, gadgets, etc) are only acceptable with the expressed consent of your wife, and will only be warmly received if the video game is either A) earned through hard work and sacrifice, B) is something that has extreme long term returns, or C) if it is a game your wife wants and if she will play as much or more than you.
This is a complex rule with a simple premise. If you get a new job you will probably be alright getting yourself a video game. If you work all week on a project around the house, you can probably get a new video game. If the game is Fable II then you can probably get it because your wife will enjoy it as much if not more than you do.
This rule is void if you do something stupid.
This is a complex rule with a simple premise. If you get a new job you will probably be alright getting yourself a video game. If you work all week on a project around the house, you can probably get a new video game. If the game is Fable II then you can probably get it because your wife will enjoy it as much if not more than you do.
This rule is void if you do something stupid.
Wife Rule #103
Don't lock your dog in the bedroom while your wife is asleep inside.
My wife and I often go to bed at the same time. But most nights we will not go right to sleep. Sometimes, we will "Mike and Carol Brady it" (aka read in bed) or we might cuddle and watch a TV show on DVD (usually The Simpsons). When these or other activities are concluded I often will get back out of bed and go play video games or watch Sportcenter because I tend to work in the evening and so I like going to bed latter.
Generally, our dog loves to sleep on my side of the bed, and is content with cuddling up with my wife until I come in to bed. However, she likes to have to option to freely travel back and forth between my wife and I. If I absent mindedly close the door our wonderful puppy will wait about 20 minutes and then wake my wife up to let her out of the room. Needless to say this does not make my wife very happy and so it is best not to lock your dog in with your sleeping wife.
My wife and I often go to bed at the same time. But most nights we will not go right to sleep. Sometimes, we will "Mike and Carol Brady it" (aka read in bed) or we might cuddle and watch a TV show on DVD (usually The Simpsons). When these or other activities are concluded I often will get back out of bed and go play video games or watch Sportcenter because I tend to work in the evening and so I like going to bed latter.
Generally, our dog loves to sleep on my side of the bed, and is content with cuddling up with my wife until I come in to bed. However, she likes to have to option to freely travel back and forth between my wife and I. If I absent mindedly close the door our wonderful puppy will wait about 20 minutes and then wake my wife up to let her out of the room. Needless to say this does not make my wife very happy and so it is best not to lock your dog in with your sleeping wife.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Wife Rule #2 Revisit
Sometimes losing the small battle will let you win the war.
To be honest I cannot remember the exact situation that this rule refers to. However the principle is sound. There have been many times that I have conceded on a small issue so that I could win a larger one. For example (and I think this was the basis for this rule) I wanted a new TV for the bedroom. My wife wanted one too but was not sure that we should spend a lot on a new one she thought we should borrow one from her family. I agreed and said we should not spend a lot of money on a new tv for the bedroom, but instead we should move our living room TV into the the bedroom and get a new bigger living room TV. She said no we should get a smaller TV for the bedroom but we could get it new. I agreed and we got a new TV. My wife was happy, I was happy and it was all because I gave up on the little battle to win the big one.
To be honest I cannot remember the exact situation that this rule refers to. However the principle is sound. There have been many times that I have conceded on a small issue so that I could win a larger one. For example (and I think this was the basis for this rule) I wanted a new TV for the bedroom. My wife wanted one too but was not sure that we should spend a lot on a new one she thought we should borrow one from her family. I agreed and said we should not spend a lot of money on a new tv for the bedroom, but instead we should move our living room TV into the the bedroom and get a new bigger living room TV. She said no we should get a smaller TV for the bedroom but we could get it new. I agreed and we got a new TV. My wife was happy, I was happy and it was all because I gave up on the little battle to win the big one.
Wife Rule #102
Close the cabinets.
This rule refers to a charming trait I get from my family. We leave cabinets ajar. So whenever I go get something I make an effort to close the cabinet, but I am often on my way to the next thing without checking to see if the cabinet has made it all the way closed.
My wife hates this. She is always concerned that she is going to bang her head or her foot on an open cabinet. Plus she says it makes us look like hicks to have a bunch of half open cabinets. So please when you are done, close the cabinets.
This rule refers to a charming trait I get from my family. We leave cabinets ajar. So whenever I go get something I make an effort to close the cabinet, but I am often on my way to the next thing without checking to see if the cabinet has made it all the way closed.
My wife hates this. She is always concerned that she is going to bang her head or her foot on an open cabinet. Plus she says it makes us look like hicks to have a bunch of half open cabinets. So please when you are done, close the cabinets.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Wife Rule #1 Revisit
Wives are a big responsibility so make sure you are up for this lifetime commitment before you get one.
I am a deliberator. I think about everything forever before I make a decision. Even though I love my wife I took a long time to ask her to marry me. Not because I didn't love her, and not because I needed her to prove something to me. Just because wives are a big responsibility and I wanted to make sure I was ready.
Plus if I am going to deliberate on whether or not to buy a video game for a few days, shouldn't I deliberate for at least a month on whether or not I am going to get married.
I am a deliberator. I think about everything forever before I make a decision. Even though I love my wife I took a long time to ask her to marry me. Not because I didn't love her, and not because I needed her to prove something to me. Just because wives are a big responsibility and I wanted to make sure I was ready.
Plus if I am going to deliberate on whether or not to buy a video game for a few days, shouldn't I deliberate for at least a month on whether or not I am going to get married.
Wife Rule #101
Don't do laundry everyday.
I am a compulsive laundry washer. I will put my laundry directly in the wash and after a couple days wash the load. My wife likes to load up a laundry basket with clothes and not do laundry until she is out of clothes.
One thing that I had to adjust to was changing my laundry habits so that my wife will not be annoyed at the fact that the washing machine is always running.
I am a compulsive laundry washer. I will put my laundry directly in the wash and after a couple days wash the load. My wife likes to load up a laundry basket with clothes and not do laundry until she is out of clothes.
One thing that I had to adjust to was changing my laundry habits so that my wife will not be annoyed at the fact that the washing machine is always running.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Wife Rules 100th Post Extravaganza!
Today's wife rule: Don't do things wrong on purpose just to have material for your blog.
OK I admit it. I have been making some dumb mistakes lately. That is not unusual, what is unusual is that I have been making them on purpose.
I know you are shocked as was I when I realized I was doing it. But the fact is some days there is not an obvious wife rule to be had. That is why some of the wife rules seem like a stretch sometimes.
The worst part about making mistakes on purpose? My wife has been really understanding about each thing I have done wrong and has not been annoyed at me for my little mistakes. So really my intentional mistakes have all been for nothing.
The funniest thing about this post is that when my wife reads this, it will be the first time she hears that I was doing dumb stuff on purpose. I am sure I am going to get questioned with what dumb stuff I have done and I will let you know how it goes when my wife gets through with me.
In a bit of blog news, the wife rules will be going to two posts daily for the next 75 days starting tomorrow. I will be reposting wife rules 1-74 with the back stories so that all of you can have the complete picture. I hope you enjoy it. It should be fun.
OK I admit it. I have been making some dumb mistakes lately. That is not unusual, what is unusual is that I have been making them on purpose.
I know you are shocked as was I when I realized I was doing it. But the fact is some days there is not an obvious wife rule to be had. That is why some of the wife rules seem like a stretch sometimes.
The worst part about making mistakes on purpose? My wife has been really understanding about each thing I have done wrong and has not been annoyed at me for my little mistakes. So really my intentional mistakes have all been for nothing.
The funniest thing about this post is that when my wife reads this, it will be the first time she hears that I was doing dumb stuff on purpose. I am sure I am going to get questioned with what dumb stuff I have done and I will let you know how it goes when my wife gets through with me.
In a bit of blog news, the wife rules will be going to two posts daily for the next 75 days starting tomorrow. I will be reposting wife rules 1-74 with the back stories so that all of you can have the complete picture. I hope you enjoy it. It should be fun.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
The Wife Rules...now tweeting
Now you can follow The Wife Rules on Twitter.
http://twitter.com/TheWifeRules
http://twitter.com/TheWifeRules
Wife Rule #99
If you wife shows an interest in one of your hobbies, encourage her.
I am a gamer. My wife complains about this, but I think she secretly likes it because it means that she gets to read while I play my games. Today, we went out to dinner, (to celebrate 3 months of being married) then went to Borders for her to get some books, and finally we went to Best Buy to check some prices on some games.
As we pulled into the parking lot I told my wife that I was just running in to check a price and if she wanted to stay in the car I would not mind. She said she wanted to come in so that I would not buy anything, but also because she wanted to look at some games too. I was doubtful, but when we got in I encouraged her to check out any games that she thought she might be interested in.
We did not buy anything tonight, but by the time we left Best Buy my wife had a list of 4 games that she wanted and had encouraged me to get more games as well. I felt like I had struck oil, and it was all because I encouraged her to explore one of my hobbies
I am a gamer. My wife complains about this, but I think she secretly likes it because it means that she gets to read while I play my games. Today, we went out to dinner, (to celebrate 3 months of being married) then went to Borders for her to get some books, and finally we went to Best Buy to check some prices on some games.
As we pulled into the parking lot I told my wife that I was just running in to check a price and if she wanted to stay in the car I would not mind. She said she wanted to come in so that I would not buy anything, but also because she wanted to look at some games too. I was doubtful, but when we got in I encouraged her to check out any games that she thought she might be interested in.
We did not buy anything tonight, but by the time we left Best Buy my wife had a list of 4 games that she wanted and had encouraged me to get more games as well. I felt like I had struck oil, and it was all because I encouraged her to explore one of my hobbies
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wife Rule #97
Always plug your wife's blog.
My wife is amazing. She is an awesome teen librarian and she is perhaps the most talented blogger I know. She has some crazy amount of followers and she gets more visits in a week than I have had total since I started this blog.
Well, in a shameless plug for my amazing wife I would like all of you to visit her blog. She mainly reviews teen books and movies but I think there is something there for everyone. You can find her at www.greenbeanteenqueen.com or just click here.
My wife is amazing. She is an awesome teen librarian and she is perhaps the most talented blogger I know. She has some crazy amount of followers and she gets more visits in a week than I have had total since I started this blog.
Well, in a shameless plug for my amazing wife I would like all of you to visit her blog. She mainly reviews teen books and movies but I think there is something there for everyone. You can find her at www.greenbeanteenqueen.com or just click here.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Wife Rule #96
Don't let your wife watch something scary right before bed.
I did not make her do this but I let her do it. We watched a very creepy buffy episode right before bed and it gave my wife nightmares. Sometimes as a husband you have the be the voice of reason and take the lumps for looking out for you wife's best interests even if she doesn't want you to.
Had I not let my wife watch it right before bed we probably would have had a better night sleep.
I did not make her do this but I let her do it. We watched a very creepy buffy episode right before bed and it gave my wife nightmares. Sometimes as a husband you have the be the voice of reason and take the lumps for looking out for you wife's best interests even if she doesn't want you to.
Had I not let my wife watch it right before bed we probably would have had a better night sleep.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Wife Rules: Now on Facebook!
You can become a fan of The Wife Rules on Facebook. Just click here.
Wife Rule #95
Don't make your wife watch something scary immediately after she wakes up.
This was a mistake I didn't make. My wife and I are watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer together because neither of us watch it when we were growing up. And not that Buffy is terribly frightening, but when my wife woke up I guessed correctly that she would not want to watch buffy first thing in the morning.
We wound up watching buffy after breakfast and had a good laugh at a mildly creepy episode but it never would have happened had i been rash and asked her to watch it earlier.
This was a mistake I didn't make. My wife and I are watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer together because neither of us watch it when we were growing up. And not that Buffy is terribly frightening, but when my wife woke up I guessed correctly that she would not want to watch buffy first thing in the morning.
We wound up watching buffy after breakfast and had a good laugh at a mildly creepy episode but it never would have happened had i been rash and asked her to watch it earlier.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Wife Rule #94
Don't try to go for a walk around dinnertime.
I lead a life that a couch potato would be proud of. But in an attempt to try to lose weight and get back into shape I have been taking walks and jogs. Most of the walks and jog happen in the morning or afternoon, but the other day I wanted to take one in the evening.
It was dinnertime but my wife was going out to a late dinner with a friend so I thought it would be ok for me to slip out and go for a walk. My wife disagreed and said that even though she was working on something she would prefer me to stay home and talk with her. Apparently even when you are not eating dinner together, dinnertime is still together time.
I lead a life that a couch potato would be proud of. But in an attempt to try to lose weight and get back into shape I have been taking walks and jogs. Most of the walks and jog happen in the morning or afternoon, but the other day I wanted to take one in the evening.
It was dinnertime but my wife was going out to a late dinner with a friend so I thought it would be ok for me to slip out and go for a walk. My wife disagreed and said that even though she was working on something she would prefer me to stay home and talk with her. Apparently even when you are not eating dinner together, dinnertime is still together time.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Wife Rule #93
Don't tell your wife that you did not miss her.
The other day my wife came home and after complaining about work and checking up on all of my little tasks for the day, asked if I had missed her. I was not in the best of moods and I had spent the day working on the various projects so in an annoyed huff I said no.
Needless to say this did not go over well. So always tell your wife that you missed her.
The other day my wife came home and after complaining about work and checking up on all of my little tasks for the day, asked if I had missed her. I was not in the best of moods and I had spent the day working on the various projects so in an annoyed huff I said no.
Needless to say this did not go over well. So always tell your wife that you missed her.
Wife Rule #13 Revisit
Do not start a major project at night unless it is absolutely necessary, it will get interrupted.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wife Rule #92
Don't tell your wife that her dog does not love her.
This one goes out to all of the pet lovers out there. My wife and I argue over who our dog loves more. I say our dog loves my wife more and my wife thinks our dog loves me more.
Well during a playful spat about the dog's relative levels of love for the two of us, I said to her: "No wonder your dog doesn't love you." And what was playful went to sad and hurtful.
While we were still joking about it, that comment sucked some of the fun out of it. Not a huge deal but worth noting.
This one goes out to all of the pet lovers out there. My wife and I argue over who our dog loves more. I say our dog loves my wife more and my wife thinks our dog loves me more.
Well during a playful spat about the dog's relative levels of love for the two of us, I said to her: "No wonder your dog doesn't love you." And what was playful went to sad and hurtful.
While we were still joking about it, that comment sucked some of the fun out of it. Not a huge deal but worth noting.
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